My most important business lesson: "There's nothing special about you."

My photography business turns 5 years old this month.  The past 4 years have been full-time, work my ass off, cry alot, lose a ton of sleep over type of business building years and I have learned so much from all of it.  Fortunately, only a few of those lessons have been painful.  But one in particular was down right nasty and it has forever changed what I do.

3.5 years ago.  The email came a day or two after I had sent her the gallery of her newborn session.  It had been a tough session.  The baby was wide awake and fussy.  I was still really green at newborn photography and hadn't known to heat the room, play white noise, insist on a younger baby (nowadays I only do 5- 10 day olds because I know from experience that they sleep deepest and are easiest to pose).  But I truly worked my ass off to comfort him, and I kept my composure the entire two hours and was happy with the end results and during edits, I remember thinking to myself, "wow, that's actually pretty good considering......"

But then the client's reply to the gallery came and it started off with "There is nothing special about you or your work.  You were not worth the money......"

My heart stopped.  My jaw dropped.  My face burned.  The tears started flowing before I could even finish reading her nasty rant towards me.  It all pierced deeply into my heart and soul and it hurt like hell. I cried for two days.  No exaggeration.  2 days!  I questioned everything about me, my skills, my business.  Was she right?  Was I a non-talented hack with no skill, no ability to do the job that I had so badly wanted for years?  One that I had, unlike most in the industry, gone to school for, practised and loved since childhood, treated it like a business and gotten licensed and paid taxes on every year because I wanted it to be a legitmate career, not a fun side hobby I did on weekends?

I considered packing it all in during those next few dark days.  Maybe she was right?  Maybe I was just kidding myself.  I didn't know what I was doing.  I was no good.  But then I started thinking about my reply to her and I looked back at all of my previous client responses to their galleries and reviews on my page and they all said things like "amazing work!" "beautiful!"  "love it!"  "can't wait to work with you again!"  And it got me thinking, maybe she wasn't right.  No one else had ever said negative things about my work before - especially not such mean and nasty things like she had.  I knew that I had done the best job I could have and I had been proud of the work  I had delivered to her. I had done my job and I decided that I needed to stand strong behind it.

I replied that I was sorry she felt that way (I truly was!) but I didn't feel that way about what I had done for her - I had worked really hard - and all of my previous clients before her didn't feel that way either.  I had never received such negative feedback before and although I was sorry she felt I was not worth the money she had spent on the session,  I would not be refunding her.  I did offer her a free future session, but I knew she wouldn't ever be back.  I was pretty sure nothing I did would ever make her happy (in all walks of our lives, there are just people like that) and I made peace with that because I realized that I HAD made so many other clients happy before her.

Although I was really concerned that she would go on to tell all of her friends not to come to me, I never heard from her again and my business didn't suffer at all afterwards.  In fact, it only got stronger and better. Why?  Because I learned to separate her words from ME and apply them to my business.

In an over-saturated industry with such a preceived minimal requirement for entry (how many stay-at-home moms do you know who have bought a DSLR, set it to auto and created a facebook page with "my name photography" and voila, are instant photographers over-night?  Too many to bother to count, I am sure), the truth is that a real artist and business person needs to set themselves apart from all of the mediocrity out there.  Because honestly so much of what is being offered in the photography industry is really nothing special and all of those over-night  photographers disappear within one or two years because there is nothing special about what they have to offer and they are quickly and easily replaced.   But me, I am still here and what sets me apart is that I have specialized (in newborns and children), and studied and studied some more and practised, and stretched myself with personal projects (my first photo book, Scarcity Project, was published last fall and available on Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/Scarcity-Project-Melanie-Moore-Photography/dp/1364951711/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1470597876&sr=1-4&keywords=scarcity+project ) and am constantly striving to be more professional, to be better than I was last year, last month, last week (!) because I love my job and I want it to continue to be successful and fulfilling in my life.  No matter what it takes.  My goal is always to be a better photographer and run a more successful business than I did yesterday.

"There's nothing special about you" is no longer my kryptonite.  It's my strength, my mantra.  I reflect on it often and have even thought of making it into a plaque for my wall so that I can look up at it when I am editing to remind myself to keep going, keep working at it, keep learning, keep getting better.

There is a cliched motivation poster that says, "Life like a photograph; you develop from the negatives."  In this digital age, most people (even some photographers) don't  understand this anymore, but in this case, it is very true.  I am developing.  I am working on creating that little bit of "special" in my work, everyday.

~ Stay Gold